Life have been havoc for me for this year.

1. We sold our house
2. Can't find new house
3. Grandma passed away
4. Property agent commit suicide, and we need to find another agent.
5. We planned to get a new house at Tampines Blk 842, but we are unable to get bank loans.
6. End up we got no place to stay.
7. Dad got caught by police for drink driving.
8. His license got dismissed
9. He have to close down his business
10. Got himself drunk everyday, soaking himself in the pool of beers.
11. He got himself heart attack, and he passed away...

...
He left his pub at 1am on 30th Oct, and we can't find him for the whole day after that and made a police report. On the 31st, the police called, and said that he passed away, and asked us to go down SGH to identify the body, without his wallet and handphone with him.
WE ARE UNABLE TO SEE HIS LAST BREATH, WE ARE UNABLE TO KNOW IMMEDIATELY THAT HE PASSED AWAY... =( His body is so lonely... =(

Dad... I miss you...

I'm really angry with you when you're still alive, leaving mum alone at home everytime and not heeding what mum told you, advice you. If you could just leave your friends for mum, you wouldn't land yourself up with high blood pressure and heart disease other than diabetes...

However,
- I blamed myself for not able to talk to you that much when you're alive.
- I blamed myself for not able to ask you not to drink so much when you're alive.
- I blamed myself for not able to look after your health even I learnt nutrition
- I blamed myself for not able to convice you to do more exercise instead of drinking so much...

Whatever things that I've said now, is no longer of use anymore...
What I can do now, is to take over your role, to look after mum, to look after wanyi and ah wee...
I promise.

These few days is really a havoc to me, alot of things changes.
In able to be a support to mum, I can't cry, and the feeling really sucks...
Sigh...
I also get to see what outside's world is like during these few days of funeral.
My dad already passed away, and there are still people talking big words during his funeral, INFRONT OF HIS PICTURE ok? what the fuck..
Sigh.. That's life..
Someone else still asked if I still blame her or anything.. Even if I blame you, I've got no time to do it, because I'm still at my father's wake! Hello?
Esther and Ong Lay See came, they're really freako... Still able to talk about work all these when a person has got totally no mood to do work during a wake. wtf...
They totally got no sense of apology sense of condolences...

Anyway.. Life continue.. I'll work hard, study hard. Jia you jia you!